Four moms, all immigrants, with one common thread: their kindergartners.

It was the summer of 2016; little boys and girls were leaving the safety and familiarity of their homes to step out in the big world. The elementary school was buzzing with a constant influx of parents and children. Did these moms cross paths or see each other amidst the chaos of the first day drop off? Maybe yes, maybe not.

The school year commenced and slowly four boys gravitated towards each other. They were either desk partners, shoulder buddies during reading, or together in other activities which fostered their friendship. After a few weeks, one of them invited his three new best friends to his most memorable sixth birthday party.

Four moms met for the first time and instantly connected. A sense of ease and comfort slowly glided into morning drop-offs and afternoon pickups after the first meeting at the birthday party. The brief formal greetings transformed into long informal conversations which eventually evolved into a deeper friendship.  

Who could think four women, from four different cultural and ethnic backgrounds, Taiwan, South Korea, Peru and India would effortlessly conjoin. The curiosity to learn about unheard traditions, mutual respect for each other’s cultures, and sharing anecdotes from their homelands connected them organically.  Despite coming from a cultural kaleidoscope, they complemented each other.

The children’s playdates soon branched into moms getting together to celebrate their birthdays, family events, festivals, and holidays. Everyone eagerly waited for Chinese New Year, Diwali, Korean New Year, Christmas and Halloween and enjoyed each other’s unique traditions and foods. The keenness to eat sticky rice cakes and mooncake on Lunar New Year and Moon Festival, and the excitement of receiving red envelopes that contained money was unparalleled. Visiting each other’s home presented with a unique prospect of engaging in each other’s culture, the appreciation and understanding of colorful textiles from India, handmade crochets from Peru, essentials from Korea stocked up in the pantry curated a quintessential canvas. They were enriching each other’s lives at a profound and consequential scale.

The parenting style seemed to be in complete synchronization given the diversification. With moms endlessly juggling between home, chores, work, school, interdependence was inevitable. To navigate through crucial situations like flat tires, doctor’s appointments, or inconsistent schedules to playful situations, like me time, spa time, missed alarm, asking for help never seemed formidable. Responsibilities were not overwhelming anymore.  These moms had found their village to raise their children. They had been united with the extended families they incessantly longed for. The children had found their uncles and aunties, their cheerleaders, their confidantes, and their mentors.

The relentless search for true, deep, and lifelong friendship was wrapped up. The moms got a sense of security for having found nonjudgmental friends. They had steered their friendships in a direction where they shared daily struggles, vented frustrations, confided in deep seated fears, celebrated their children’s achievements, talked about school and teachers, had lighthearted conversations, sang and danced together, shared meals, and created moments that were therapeutic. Love and friendship chimed and they were all united in celebrating together, despite cultural diversity. Being expatriate moms was no longer challenging; they had found their clique.

Chaucer wrote in his famous epic poem, “Troilus and Criseyde”, “But at the laste, as every thing hath ende, She took hir leve, and nedes wolde wende.” It has been universally proven that all good things come to an end.

After being inseparable for six years and in the vicissitudes of all ups and downs, highs and lows, two families had to move. This new situation presented a new set of challenges; it seemed almost impossible to navigate through this uncalled-for predicament. They felt like they were back to square one. They were not primed to go through this ordeal of separation, loneliness and impasse.

They didn’t want to lose the friendship they had found and were so dependent on. No one was ready to initiate the process of knitting a brand-new life without each other. The thought of not being able to see each other daily, not being able to celebrate birthdays and holidays together, was inducing stress and anxiety. The warm blanket of friendship was being pulled over, and the feeling of loneliness, and displacement was grappling them again.

Would they have to restart to find their sanctuary where friends had become family? Would they struggle again with their hyphenated existence? Would it take them forever to find friends again that could give them the comfort of home, the same unrelented support? Would they be lamenting this loss for long? Would this long-distance debilitate their friendship? Would there be awkward silence when they all meet again?

One thing these friends had learnt from each other was to remain steadfast, no matter what the situation is. They all decided to process their emotions without resistance. If needed, they will cry, weep, or scream, but they will overcome it and stand strong and be together forever. Their friendship didn’t come with an expiration date. They had built a life together, with unique memories.

Their bond was strong; no distance would bring a gap. There would be intermittent moments of oscillation, a yearning for the past again where they could be together and desire to meet again soon. But with perseverance, and each other’s support, they were determined to stay strong and uplifting and far or near, the distance would not cripple their love and fondness for each other. What they had was irreplaceable, and they would preserve it. This was not the end. It was the beginning of new hopes, new life. It helped them reinforce their friendship at different levels.

Every end has a new beginning. In the present times, they are all finding their balance; they are all trying to carve new rituals. They are painting their canvas with new colors of friendship, but there is a canvas that will hold all their fond memories. A canvas that doesn’t end up in an attic of their memory but stands tall on the wall of their family room.

It has been four years; all the boys are in high school. The moms make an effort to meet once or twice a year. These annual or semi-annual visits help everyone rejuvenate, restore, heal, and relive the moments. Be it a four-day long weekend, or winter break, staying up all night, talking nonstop, shopping, sharing meals, they condense six months in the minimal time they have when they meet, making new memories. They get their six-month dose of love and affection, and they are re-energized.

Their hearts are full.

Four moms, all immigrants with one common thread: their friendship.